The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Title:  The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Author:  Stephen R. Covey

Publication Information:  Simon & Schuster. 1989 (original publication). 432 pages.

ISBN:  1476740054 / 978-1476740058

Book Source:  I was introduced to this book by a manager years ago and recently re-read it.

Opening Sentence:  "In more than 25 years of working with people in business, university, and marriage and family settings, I have come in contact with many individuals who have achieved an incredible degree of outward success, but have found themselves struggling with an inner hunger, a deep need for personal congruency and effectiveness and for healthy, growing relationships with other people."

Favorite Quote:  "Love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is the fruit of love the verb or our loving actions."

A manager introduced me to this book years ago. I was young and newly out of school, looking to steer my career. The manager was a big believer in Stephen Covey's work and in the philosophy of this book. At the time, I read it. I nodded in agreement with most of the ideas. The ideas are not new and were not even then. Once I read them, they were even intuitive, eliciting the reaction, "Well, of course." I read it in deference to my boss and then put it aside.

The manager moved on. I moved on. School changes. Job changes. Family changes. Changes in life direction. Over the years, I found myself (and still find myself) drawn back to the paradigm presented in the book. It is an ideal, but it is an ideal that makes sense. Do I find myself able to implement each habit to its fullest? No, and maybe I never will. However, the principles provide a way to center my thoughts and ground myself. I find this to be true in my personal and professional life. That is why this book finds a permanent home on my bookshelf and why I still find myself recommending this book to others.

So what are the 7 habits?

The first three habits are internal, focusing on you as an individual or what the book terms "private victories:"

• Be proactive - Take responsibility for your choices.
• Begin with the end in mind - Determine the unalterable guiding principles that govern your life and set your goals to align with those principles.
• Put first things first - Ensure that your time and efforts are invested into endeavors that are important to your goals.

The next three are more external, focusing on your interactions with others, whether personal or professional. The book terms these "public victories:"

• Think win-win - When engaging with people, think of a third alternative that allows both individuals success in the interaction.
• Seek first to understand, then to be understood - Seek truly to understand the speaker without imposing your own judgement or interpretation.
• Synergize - The whole is often greater than the sum of the parts.

The final habit - Sharpen the saw - recognizes that we can only attain private and public victories if we first take care of ourselves. That care exists on multiple levels, addressing our physical, mental, social, and spiritual needs.

What I love about this paradigm is that it is so simply explained. The book reinforces the ideas with numerous professional and personal examples. Note that most of the personal examples are based on a parent-child relationship and may not be as relatable to a different audience. Nevertheless, the philosophy still applies.

The book also talks about the tools you can employ to live the seven habits. Stephen Covey built an entire business around tools such as planners and workshop to teach people how to implement these ideas. The book, however, focuses on the qualities such as portability and flexibility a tool should have. As such, the information in the book has not become dated. Our tools have become more and more powerful with the incorporation of technology. We have more at our fingertips, but each one of us still has to determine their best use for our goals.

Stephen Covey passed away in 2012, but he left us the legacy of his work, and I, for one, am thankful.

Please share your thoughts and leave a comment. I would love to "talk" to you.

The Settling Earth

*** Giveaway Alert ***
Enter to win a signed copy of The Settling Earth
Book longlisted for Edge Hill Short Story Award
Giveaway hosted by the author

Title:  The Settling Earth

Author:  Rebecca Burns

Publication Information:  Odyssey Books. 2014. 128 pages.

ISBN:  1922200166 / 978-1922200167

Book Source:  I received this book as a galley through NetGalley free of cost in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Rebecca Burns for sharing your book with me.

Opening Sentence:  "Sarah woke to a fierce north wind."

Favorite Quote:  "No, here, in this colony, there are opportunities, but our hearts are the same; they are still pulled and crushed, still open to hope. Our flesh still yearns for the touch of someone long dead. We just go through it at the bottom of the world."

The Settling Earth is a beautiful collection of ten inter-related short stories set in the 1800s in the colony of New Zealand. Nine out of ten present the experience of white people settling in New Zealand. The last one written by Shelly Davies of the Ngātiwai tribe, presents a native Maori perspective on the white settlers.

A Pickled Egg deals with a young bride settling into marriage and a new life far from family in Europe.

Mr. William Sanderson Strikes for Home hits upon the tensions between the white settlers and the native Maori and the prejudicial approach of the white settlers.

Miss Swainson's Girl takes the reader to a brothel in the city and a young girl's struggle to survive after her arrival in New Zealand.

Dottie is the toddler dropped off the baby farm that provides a solution for young women unable or unwilling to care for their children.

Port and Oranges brings the story back to the brothel and the life of the madam of the brothel.

Tenderness probes the life of Mrs. Ellis, the do-gooder and passionate charity worker, who has seen a lot in her life but can yet be surprised by what some people will do.

Dressed for the Funeral introduces another young bride, wavering between love and expediency even when a child's life hangs in the balance.

Ink and Red Lace is a story of abuse.

The Beast brings salvation to at least one of the women and retribution to one cruel and unjust man.

Balance, the final story, comes full circle back to the beginning. After all the stories about women in trying circumstances, abused and downtrodden, this story brings a strong statement about the place of women in society. It brings the Maori perspective - "There had to be balance. Without woman there was no man. And so, for Maori, even through it was the men who were out the front in war parties, politicking and making speeches, women were a powerful influence. A force to be reckoned with."

The stories all stand alone but also flow together, each picking up on a character in a previous one. Each individual story is only a few pages long. Yet, the author vividly depicts the New Zealand setting, capturing both the cities that seek to emulate the customs of its European settlers and the isolation of the countryside that reminds the settlers of the power of the land.

The author also manages to develop depth and emotion in the characters even with the brief length of the story. I found myself vested in the characters, feeling their struggle, being shocked at some of their choices, and wanting to know more. Although the stories end quickly, I found myself envisioning what happened after. The fact that the stories carry over into each other certainly helps that thought process along.

Several stories end on a decision point, leaving it to the reader to decide what direction the character would take. For me, that adds to the depth with which I think about the story. I am left wondering and thinking, which in this case is a better result than spelling everything out and have all loose ends tied in a neat package. A thought provoking collection.

Please share your thoughts and leave a comment. I would love to "talk" to you.

A Bowl of Olives: On Food and Memory

Title:  A Bowl of Olives:  On Food and Memory

Author:  Sara Midda

Publication Information:  Workman Publishing Company. 2014. 128 pages.

ISBN:  0761145265 / 978-0761145264

Book Source:  I received this book through a publisher's giveaway free of cost in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Shelf Awareness.

Favorite Quote:  "Certain foods are forever linked with particular places and times - memorable meals with special people."

A Bowl of Olives:  On Food and Memory is a little gift book with charming artwork. The author Sara Midda is an artist, who has lived in the South of France and currently lives in West Essex, England.

The dust jacket of the book reads, "This work of pure enchantment celebrates all things food and cooking .... Its watercolor paintings shine like jewels ... it is a book layered with memories and impressions, and throughout, recipes..."

The first element of the book description is "all things food and cooking." The table of contents is an eclectic collection of food related topics. The sections range from food markets to eggs, from table settings to food wishes, and from food packaging to olives. The sections vary in the scope of topics. One section talks about specifically eggs while another cover the broad spectrum of food memories. Each section drifts between lists, descriptions, notes, and artwork related to the topic without really a flow or organization within the topic.

The artwork itself is lovely, and the book includes a lot of artwork. However, the book is little - about 5 x 7 inches in hardcover. Most of the pages contain multiple individual images, making each one even smaller than the size of the book indicates. Some pages have only a few images, but some have as many as 10-20 individual images. As a result, the artwork is really, really small - beautiful but small. At times, I found myself reaching for a magnifying class to more clearly see what details there might be.

As to the layering of "memories and impressions," many sections are somewhat like lists. The individual items on a list may or may not trigger a memory for the reader. The author does not explain her memories; No stories underlie the lists and descriptions. For examples, the food memories include:

• Italy:  "in wine bars along the back streets of Venice, chicchetti of rice balls, artichoke hearts cooked in olive oil, garlic, parsley and lemon juice."
• Morocco: "grilled sardines - eating them in the harbor at Essaouira"
• France:  "scents - figs, wood smoke, herbs, coffee, bread baking, olive oil, garlic."

The words simply do not bring the memory to life. Food should appeal to all the senses, and this book does not elicit that delight. The few recipes included are fairly basic ones. As this book will likely appeal to "foodies," the recipes (like roasted beets and apple jelly) are likely ones they are already familiar with.

Functionally, the book is difficult to read. The font is very linear and italic in appearance. The font size is sometimes really small like the artwork. On certain pages, the font and color of print resembles that of a notebook hurriedly written. The small size of print and artwork gives some of the pages a cluttered appearance. Perhaps, that goes with the artistic aesthetic of the book, but it becomes very challenging to read.

At the end of the day, this book is really a work of art - more about the illustrations than the content. The individual illustrations are lovely; I just wish I could have seen them in a cleaner and larger environment so as to appreciate each and every one.

Please share your thoughts and leave a comment. I would love to "talk" to you.

Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives

Title:  Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives

Author:  Brian L. Weiss

Publication Information:  Fireside. 1988. 219 pages.

ISBN:  0671657860 / 978-0671657864

Book Source:  I read this book as this month's selection for my local book club.

Favorite Quote:  "It is important to weed out the false from the true so that the field is not discredited."

Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both - a long title for a relatively short book. The "prominent psychiatrist" is Brian Weiss whose credentials include Columbia University and the Yale University School of Medicine. The "young patient" is Catherine, who came to Dr. Weiss at the age of twenty seven suffering from anxieties and fears. The "past-life therapy" is the main focus of this book.

The first eighteen months of therapy for Catherine utilized conventional methods but with little or no success.  At that time, the therapy was modified to try hypnosis. Through hypnosis, Catherine recalled memories of past lives - many many past lives reaching back centuries. Further on through hypnosis, Dr. Weiss led Catherine through memories of the times in between lives when the Masters spoke. The Masters brought lessons and guidance - you can put your own interpretation as to who these Masters may be. After the sessions, Catherine had no recollection of these Masters. It appeared that they spoke to and for Dr. Weiss. The therapy continued until Catherine's symptoms were deemed cured. This time period and process is what this book describes.

Two ways exist for me to analyze and review this book. One is to present my assessment of the content. That I will not do. Whether someone believes in reincarnation and past lives is a personal choice. My choice may not reflect yours. Nor would it invalidate yours. To you is your belief. To me is mine.

The second way to analyze this book is to look at it as a book and as a book coming from a scientific environment with theory and evidence. Looked at in this way, this is not the book for me.

Every chapter of the book is essentially the same. Catherine comes into a session. She remembers a past life - life, sometimes trauma, and death - and describes it under hypnosis. Sometimes, the Masters speak after Catherine has died in that past life. The book never progresses beyond that description. It contains no analysis at all. At time, it references that other research exists and other case studies exist to parallel Catherine's case, but the book never elaborates. I found myself skimming through sections trying to find a place where the book brings the research together to state a thesis or a conclusion. It never comes.

This book is essentially a case study of one patient - Catherine. Unfortunately, the tone of the book is very condescending towards Catherine. Her perspective and insight on her experience is never discussed. At one point, the book refers to her as "simple," "not a scholar," and with certain knowledge "lying beyond her capacity." Even the title refers to her as "his young patient" even though she was close to thirty years old at the start of therapy. Meanwhile, on the first page of the book, the book clearly states the author's credentials -  Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude education at Columbia and his degree from Yale University. Even in the title, the book refers to "a prominent psychiatrist." The entire tone of the book is very off-putting.

The other aspect of this book is that of a self-help manual. The Masters speak through Catherine to bring messages about life and life skills. The self-help advice is not new and not anything that cannot found in many other books in that genre. Unfortunately, given the tone and lack of explanation in this book, it loses credibility.

Another concern is that this case study blurs the line between clinician and patient. Although based on Catherine's experience as a patient, the book reads as though it is really about the psychiatrist and his experience. Catherine seems helped by her memories but has no recollection of the Masters. It is stated several times through the book that the Masters are there for Dr. Weiss. Towards the end of the book, the author acknowledges, "Under ordinary circumstances, we might have begun terminating therapy weeks ago. We had continued in part because of my interest in the message from the Master..." That raises many concerns about the role of the clinician and which took precedence - the clinician needs or Catherine's.

Book Club side note: This book ended up being a relatively short discussion because for the most part, we agreed in our assessment. Most of us agreed on the condescending tone and repetitive nature of the book. Some of us were able to separate out the self-help component of the messages from the Masters. This led to an interesting discussion on beliefs and life choices.

Please share your thoughts and leave a comment. I would love to "talk" to you.

The Alchemist, 25th Anniversary Edition: A Fable about Following Your Dreams

Title:  The Alchemist, 25th Anniversary Edition:  A Fable about Following Your Dreams

Author:  Paulo Coelho

Publication Information:  HarperOne, HarperCollins Publishers. 1988. 179 pages.

ISBN:  0062315005 / 978-0062315007

Book Source:  I received this book through a publisher's giveaway free of cost in exchange for an honest review. This book also became this month's selection for my local book club as none of us had read it.

Favorite Quote:  "Any given thing on the face of the earth could reveal the history of all things. One could open a book to any page, or look at a person's hand; one could turn a card, or watch the flight of the birds ... whatever the thing observed, one could find a connection with his experience at the moment. Actually, it wasn't that those things, in themselves, revealed anything at all; it was just that people, looking at what was occurring around them, could find a means of penetration to the Soul of the World."

The Alchemist was originally written over twenty five years ago in Portuguese. In a 2009 interview, Paulo Coelho said he wrote the book in only two weeks because "the book was already written in my soul". The original publication run through a small Brazilian publisher was for 900 copies. It did not sell well, and the publisher declined to do a reprint. Subsequently, Paulo Coelho found a larger publishing house, and The Alchemist was reprinted with the issuance of his next book Brida. The book did much better, becoming a Brazilian bestseller.

Since that time, the book has sold over 65 million copies and been translated into over 50 languages. In fact, it holds the Guinness World Record for being the most translated book by a living author. As of this week, it has hit 308 consecutive weeks on the New York Times bestseller list!

An impressive resume for a book! So, what is this book actually about? On its surface, it is the story of the shepherd boy Santiago, who hungers for travel and goes on a quest to seek treasure. Its symbolic meaning is a lesson of spirituality and of the pursuit of your dreams. 

This book refers to itself as a fable. The dictionary defines a fable as a short tale to teach a moral lesson, often with animals or inanimate objects as characters. Related forms of literature include an allegory (a story, poem, or picture that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden meaning, typically a moral or political one) and a parable (a simple story used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson, often used in a religious context). This book does convey one central lesson; however, it does so with human characteristics and in the form of a almost 200 page book.

Santiago begins his journey with a dream. Based upon that dream, he sells his flock of sheep and sets off on a journey to seek his treasure at the Pyramids of Egypt. Along the way, he encounters obstacles- theft, delays, and war. He perseveres. Along the way, he also receives help and guidance - sometimes directly and sometimes disguised as tasks. He learns to listen, observe, and be present in every experience. He also meets many people who bring something to his journey:

• The merchant's daughter who is memory for Santiago - showing that we all hold on varied dreams until we identify our true destiny.
• The gypsy woman who helps interpret Santiago's dream and asks for future payment should he find his treasure - testing Santiago's integrity and his wisdom in relying on advice freely given.
• The king who demands immediate payment for showing Santiago the way - questioning whether Santiago's commitment to his goal is strong enough for him to part with immediate wealth in search of greater treasure.
• The crystal merchant who convinces himself that having a dream is more important than achieving it - making Santiago question his own desire to purse his dreams.
• The Englishman who is so focused on the end result that he loses sight of the process - teaching Santiago to remain observant and present in the journey not just the goal.
• The young woman Fatima who professes her love for Santiago - forcing Santiago to make a choice to continue his journey even as a possibly wonderful life beckons if a different choice is made.
• The alchemist who listens to the "Language of the World" and possesses the power of the Elixir of Life and the Philosophers Stone - serving as a mentor to Santiago.

"When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true." This refrains repeats consistently throughout the book. That "something" is the true pursuit of what the book calls the "personal legend" or your destiny. Santiago's leads him from his life as a shepherd across the desert to the pyramids of Egypt.

WHERE DOES YOUR PERSONAL LEGEND LEAD YOU?

That question is at the heart of what this book will mean to a reader. Critics over the years have said that the story is too simplistic. It is too contrived. It is quasi-religious ramblings. It is a self-help book disguised as fiction.

All of that may be true, but the book touches my heart. I knew going in that it was a fable before I read it, but that was all I knew. So, I expected the simple nature of the story. I sat down with the book and finished it a day later. I am now re-reading it more slowly to look even further behind the words at the ideas and the lessons.

Why does the book appeal to me? It has been on my reading list for years, but I have never gotten to it. I am so glad that I finally did. Perhaps, now the time is right for me to appreciate this book.

It could be that I am in pursuit of my own dream and appreciate the reinforcement and the encouragement. It could be that I am a parent teaching children to believe that anything is possible and that dreams are achievable. It could be that I am learning to practice the idea of being present in any given moment without regrets of the past or worries about the future; that lesson is central to Santiago's success. It could be that I appreciate the focus on the spirituality that unites us rather than any given religious tradition. It could be I treasure the close connection of the events and characters to the natural world. "You don't have to understand the desert: all you have to do is contemplate a simple grain of sand, and you will see in it all the marvels of creation."

For all those reasons and probably more, I am so glad that I finally read this book and look forward to re-reading it many times in the years to come.

Please share your thoughts and leave a comment. I would love to "talk" to you.

The House on Mango Street

Title:  The House on Mango Street

Author:  Sandra Cisneros

Publication Information:  Vintage Contemporaries, Vintage Books, Random House, Inc. 1984. 110 pages.

ISBN:  0780743229 / 978-0780743229

Book Source:  I read this book because the title and cover appealed to me.

Favorite Quote:  "You can never have too much sky."

The House on Mango Street is semi-autobiographical fiction. It is the tale of Esperanza Cordero, a young Latina girl coming of age in an urban Chicago neighborhood. The neighborhood is fairly self-contained, consisting mostly of Hispanic immigrants like Esperanza and her family. She is growing up poor and dreams of leaving the world she knows in search of a better life. She is surrounded by difficulty but also with love.

This book is not written as a traditional novel.  At about 100 pages, it is very short and a very quick read. Also, it is written in a series of vignettes, each a page or two long.

The dictionary defines a vignette as "a brief evocative description, account, or episode" and "a small illustration that fades into the background without a definite border."

This book meets both definitions. Each vignette describes an episode or a memory in Esperanza's life. The subject matter is often difficult including poverty, accidents, rape, and death. The writing is beautiful, almost poetic in nature. Each vignette is a point. Yet, when you take a step back, each fades into the other. The points connect, and you see a picture of Esperanza's life.

Esperanza's story seems symbolic of the story of many first generation immigrants, regardless of culture and of young people growing up to define their own place in the world:

"When you leave you must remember to come back for the others. A circle, understand? You will always be Mango Street. You can't erase what you know. You can't forget who you are."

The lesson appears to be that every step, every moment in your life makes you the person you are. Your heritage, each home you live in, each person you meet remain a part of you. Own that past, and then create your own future.

Please share your thoughts and leave a comment. I would love to "talk" to you.

Heartburn

Title:  Heartburn

Author:  Norah Ephron

Publication Information:  Alfred A. Knopf, Inc. 1983. 153 pages.

Book Source:  I read this book as this month's selection for my local book club.

Favorite Quote:  "Why do you feel you have to turn everything into a story? ... Because if I tell the story, I control the version. Because if I tell the story, I can make you laugh, and I would rather have you laugh at me than feel sorry for me. Because if I tell the story, it doesn't hurt as much. Because if I tell the story, I can get on with it."

Rachel Sampstat is a cookbook author, a wife, and her mother. Mark Feldman is a syndicated columnist and Rachel's husband. The book begins as Rachel, seven months pregnant, learns that her husband is having an affair and has been for several months.

What ensues through the rest of the story are different reflections on relationships through Rachel and Mark's stories and the stories of the couples around them. What keeps people together? What drives them apart? Can you move beyond a betrayal like infidelity?

The emotions and complicated relationships in this book are real life - sometimes clear and sometimes a jumbled mess. Some parts of the book are funny, but to me, the sadness emerges more so than the humor.

The book's pace is somewhat frantic. To me, it adds to the sadness, leaving an impression of "if you run fast enough, you can outrun your own emotions". Written from Rachel's point of view, the book seems to flit between her varied thoughts and sometimes goes in all different directions - her first marriage, her husband's infidelity, the Washington DC political scene, friends, recipes, her parents, and other things. Sometimes it is like following a really long monologue without any given thread becoming fully developed.

This book was made into a movie starring Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson. Usually, I prefer the books over the movies. With that cast and the nature of the story, this one may be better as a movie. I guess I will have to watch and decide.